Hypocrisy 101
by Dajypop
Summary: Gregory always tried to make up excuses to avoid trying something new. Craig wasn't about to let him do it again.


**Title:** Hypocrisy 101  
 **Author:** Daisy  
 **Fandom:** South Park  
 **Setting:** Tweek's Bedroom  
 **Pairing:** Craig Tucker/Gregory Of Yardale/Tweek Tweak  
 **Characters:** Craig Tucker, Gregory Of Yardale, Tweek Tweak  
 **Genre:** Romance/Humor  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Chapters:** 1/1  
 **Word Count:** 971  
 **Type of Work:** One-Shot  
 **Status:** Complete  
 **Warnings:** Yaoi, Gay, Slash, Smoking, Sick Burns, Bad Humor  
 **Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.  
 **Summary:** Gregory always tried to make up excuses to avoid trying something new. Craig wasn't about to let him do it again.

 **AN:** So, I really miss my hookah. Todd and I decided we might get one in a few months, and I am so stoked for that. Until then, I decided to play around with the OT3, and this somehow kind of happened. So, without further adieu, here we go!

 **Hypocrisy 101** ****

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"Ugh, that is an _awful_ habit." Gregory scoffed egregiously, rolling his eyes as he watched Tweek place the pipe between his lips and suck in a deep breath, puffing out his chest. Craig steadily flipped him off, even as he watched the slow intake of smoke, brown eyes following the exhale like it was his religion.

"I don't think you can really say anything," Tweek responded, indigo eyes flitting over to lock onto grey-blue ones, "You still have a pack of cigarettes in your shirt pocket." Pointing at him with the still foggy from the deep pull the blond had taken, he shook his head, "At least mine's not loaded with tar and shit, man."

Pausing in his rant to let Craig take the pipe from him, both blonds watched the eager way he moved.

"I'll give it this much," Gregory spoke finally, looking towards the ceiling to avoid acknowledging being called out, "I'm blown away by how much Craig likes that thing. If you two ever broke up, I'm sure they'd have a beautiful wedding." This earned him another middle finger, and smoke blown from Craig's nose. "At least, it smells pleasant. What flavor did you two finally decide on?"

As if he had to ask.

"Craig chose, this time." Tweek informed, yawning behind his hand and looking up at the only young man still standing. "So, it's the Fruity Pebbles one. Come on, come sit down. Maybe you sm-smoke a little, maybe you like it. Maybe you can kick the cigarettes, too."

Well, that offer was both nice and a little too much to believe in, all at once. Crossing his arms over his chest, Gregory took two strides to reach them, sitting down opposite both of his lovers and crossing his legs. They were all gathered on the floor of Tweek's bedroom, the hookah standing tall and proud between them, two coals hot over the tightly stretched tinfoil. He took one look at the setup and almost bemoaned his existence. Something about this seemed so wrong, and, at the same time, he was intrigued, if he really was honest with himself.

"Fine, hand it over." This should be easy, right? He'd smoked for years (though he'd say 'on and off' to make it sound less like a habit), this would be easy. And it was, almost too much so.

Coughing a little, Gregory stared at the metal tip of the pipe as though it had physically injured him, brows drawn in like curtains over a window.

"Disgusting, as I said." Anything to cover up the fact that he'd never smoked something like this before. Craig and Tweek were under the impression that he was super-worldly, and he didn't want to lose that particular influence over them. It was Craig that reached over and snatched the pipe back, shaking his head and finally pulling off his hat, tossing it onto the dresser.

"You just don't know what you're doing. Keep it in your mouth, don't let it go all the way to your lungs on the first try." He informed, taking it slow and trying to show what he meant, before simply parting his lips and letting the thick smoke curl up from the cavern of his mouth.

"It's easy." Tweek offered in response, "Take your time to get it, don't just knock it because you messed up."

"I didn't-"

"You did. Own it, don't shirk it off." Craig was pointing at him with his middle finger, now, letting Tweek take the pipe and take his next drag. "We talked about honesty, didn't we? Chill. You're just as big a dork as we are, so own up to it."

A little taken aback by the statement, the only way Gregory could think to reply was to take the offered hose in hand and offer a soft 'Why, I never…' under his breath. Obviously throwing shade as he wrapped his plump lips around the metal tip, he closed his eyes to focus better. Taking in a deep breath, he tried to close his throat off enough to keep it out of his lungs, as per Craig's instructions, only to end up smoking it like usual. Holding it in his lungs, he handed the pipe off again and finally let it out slow, through his mouth.

" _There_ , I tried it." Still a little upset that he'd sunken down to trying the 'fruity pebble' flavor, he managed to sigh and pretend, for all of the time that it took for Tweek and Craig to pass it back and forth a few times, that he hadn't actually enjoyed it. Of course, it didn't take long before he was trying to sneak his hand into Tweek's lap, going for the hose but playing like it was his hand he was seeking out. Admitting things to himself was, sometimes, easier than doing so with his lovers. They never let him live things like this down.

"Tweekers," Craig chuckled, a smirk on his lips as he felt floaty, letting his head bob from side to side to a song stuck in his head, "I think Gregory over there wants another hit." Both of his hands had found themselves behind him to hold him up, his legs stretched out beside Gregory's knee.

"Hm?" Eyes having slid shut and hand trapping Gregory's against his thigh, he let his attention zero in on his other lover with a little smile, "I told you you'd like it if you gave it a chance." Handing it off, he chuckled a little, head falling back on his shoulders to rest against the bottom bunk of his bed.

"Yes, well. I'm only going to help you with this one bowl." The Brit had decided, in that moment, that he was probably lying, but they didn't need to know that.

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 **AN:** I finally got another fic up for these dorks! xD I'm pretty happy with it. ouo Also, the flavor of shisha they're smoking is Fantasia's Rainbow Burst. It's actually really good. ouo


End file.
